a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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