I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sober January is a disaster.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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