i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
we should paint friendship bongs
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