I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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