I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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