it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
