the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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