I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
