Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize