he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
