I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
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