I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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