Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
