I must be too annoying 4 u.
Me too!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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