worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Randomize
