Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
