hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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