I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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