Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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