Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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