Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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