How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
