So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
