can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
