guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
