Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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