i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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