suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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