she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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