I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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