The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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