Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
