Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
