she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
