i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
