I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
