remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
