It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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