I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
