You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
