Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
