So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
