why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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