Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
