that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
