Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
