Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
