Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
