Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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