just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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