why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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