im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
