God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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