Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
