I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
