I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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