grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize