shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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