Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
How's work?
Spinning.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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