I hate your face
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
