there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We are all done wearing pants today
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
