I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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