She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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