I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
