My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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