@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
