tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
