Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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